Content Note: bullying
So my buddy Jonah was at this party at the House. I was down at Jebby's Bar; Jonah had a midterm in ProbStat that morning but he had an obligation to be at the party and, you know, I'm his bro, so I was at Jebby's instead, drowning his sorrows. So anyway he's down at Sigma Pi Sigma and I'm chilling on my bar stool, enjoying miscellaneous beers. And he's texting me about how he's been flirting with Kat; I wouldn't have believed him except Anna was there and she confirmed it all the next day. I dunno who Kat's copilot was, but I'd bet it was Dinah on account of she was at Jebby's and we were pretty clearly texting on the same metronome.
So right, Jonah and Kat, just the two of them on the couch plus his phone with me on the other end and Kat's with whoever she was talking to (Dinah) and Anna hanging out on the armrest. And Jonah, you know Jonah. If you know anything about Jonah, you've got to know he's been obsessed with Kat since the beginning of October, never mind that all this happened in September. Right so Jonah's flirting with Kat and it's about 11:30 and things are going great; I'm giving him all my best pointers over the phone and he's doing a great job of ignoring them and shutting me down and doing smarter stuff, and then all of a sudden he sends me "yo man, Anna's gone" and then he just drops off the face of the planet.
Turns out Anna just needed a new drink; she got up and headed to the kitchen and made herself some weird cocktail, or tried to, anyway (later she told me what she made and I think she might have had some good ideas but then it just turned into a really specific Long Island). So then Dave comes up to her; I think he was kind of pissed because she used a bunch of his gin in her 115 Nichols Court. I don't know why he had the gin out at a party if he didn't want it to get drunk. Maybe he just figured nobody likes gin except him.
Now Dave's bothering her about the gin, but Anna's a crafty one so she drags him past Nichole, and of course he peels off to talk to her. Nichole and Dave wandering off, of course, left Abby all alone, or it would have except Anna didn't go anywhere so they talked for a while about what was up with Jonah and Kat, plus Anna was talking up her new cocktail, such as it was, since they're both really into cocktails. Cockles. Cocker-spaniels. Cockerels? Anyway, yeah, they were hanging out there by the pong table talking about stuff and watching the Dans play, except by this point the Dans were done with beer pong and ping pong and had switched to "throw the balls at Nate", which is a hilarious game except this time Nate noticed and headed off to find a safer spot.
By this point it was like 1:00, I think, and I wasn't hearing anything from anyone except Rachel and nothing much was going on there. Except all of a sudden Nate wanders over, headed for the stoop to try to get some air after the ping pong balls. And the beer. Never forget the beer. So Nate starts talking to Rachel, and she figures she'll just let it happen, so, you know, it does, like things usually do with Nate. So he's monologuing, and she's nodding along and laughing and sometimes apparently he even meant to say something funny, so that was a pretty good Nate conversation, you know. But then, well, you can say this about Nate: he's a man who knows when he's going to vomit, so of course like the gentleman he is he excused himself and at that point Rachel figured she had got all she was going to get out of the party and decided she was going to head home.
So she texts me and I figure, well, if Rachel's going home, I might as well go home too and meet her there. So she heads out and walks home, and she had a kind of a weird adventure on the way with a guy she knew from Norse History of Comic Books, but it's probably best you hear that from her. She got back to our house first, just in time to catch Brian after he got booted by Gordy. She says hi to him, and happy birthday and all that (it was Brian's birthday), and then she headed inside to wait for me. So Brian's on his way back to the House to see if he can catch the tail end of his birthday party (Brian is the king of the SigySigs, after all), and Rachel forgot to warn him about Norse Comics Guy, so he had a crazy adventure too, but again it's really probably best from his mouth to your ears. Or eyes maybe.
Right then so Brian gets back to the House around 2:00 and finds himself face to face with a game of beer pong against both Dans, and so he dives right in, except pretty soon they decided that they play beer pong all the time so this time they were going to play old school pong. So then they went and got Dan O's old laptop and pulled up some flavor of pong and started playing it, Brian on one side of the keyboard and the Dans on the other side. That got boring real fast, so the Dans left Brian playing qwop for a while; I think Dan O went off to talk to Abby some more (I'm pretty sure that's when that whole thing got started, actually) and Dan K went to find some more beer. Never forget the beer.
It turned out there was no more beer, so Dan figured that meant it was time to go get more beer. Now at 2:00 in the morning the only liquour store that's open is none of them, so Dan had to actually go on a hunt, if you know what I'm saying.
And the party continued.
So then around 4:30 after most of everything had wound down and someone had woken him up from qwop fugue Brian got up and headed over to the couch so he could start cleaning up, and of course he started by poking at Jonah who it turned out had passed out around 11:45 and needed to be kicked off the couch.
So right yeah, that's what happened.